Gray Area

I wanted to stay in the gray area a little longer. I found comfort in the midst of my own allusions. The area which you were neither a friend nor a foe. I wanted to unravel myself in the hue of right and wrong. Keep living in the memory of us while looking forward. I hid in the gray area. Right where you left me, without reasons and without reason. The area in which I wasn't wrong for drowning in our one-sided love. The area in which I could keep falling back into your gravity, without your consent. In the area which you kept me down and yet I didn't want to let go. In the gray area I was in the right to hold on a little longer, a little tighter.

Truth is, you didn't fight for us, for me. You didn't care enough. We weren't worth being spoken of. When you care for someone, when you adore someone, you set aside yourself and hold on to them. You didn't. I did. After twirling me, you left me on my knees. I wasn't the her for you. Timing played in your favor. I was set to leave before you shoved me in the heart, before you pulled away from my reach. I waited for you to call me back into your bed, to kiss me longer, and softer. I only met you in my dreams.

"He doesn't know how he hurt you" In case you don't...you walked away without say. One morning, we laid, making each others mornings better again, last all afternoon, invading each others space, kissing until we fell asleep. The next day we broke up without even going out on a date. You hurt me, still I fought for you to allow me to linger onto you longer. I didn't care to know why or how you fell out, all I cared for was that I was still falling into you. You hurt me. You pushed me away. You walked by, acting as if you never knew my name. You made me feel as if I was invisible, I should have faded away. You left words unspoken, only leaving my heart broken, my spirit weak, my mind clouded with doubt. Still, and because of this, I pleaded for another moment with you, I was willing to carry any heavy weight you carried in your heart. I was willing, I was ready to keep fighting...fighting for someone who walked away a long time ago.

The gray area. Where a blindfold was placed over my eyes, at entrance. Still I felt the stream of tears.