You Wanted It

I mean honestly? I want to pretend, as sometimes I think you did, but I mean honestly? I want to lie to myself and tell myself that it was all my fault. That I fell for you. I still don't want to admit that it was those four words. And I won't actually, cause maybe it wasn't, or maybe it was shavings of those four words. I can't even say those four words, even though you were the only one I was ever close to whispering those four words too. Its time to let go, its been time, I know. I still stand outside, around 11pm and stare at the stars, and  love them for they are the only thing that keeps up together, and the only thing that keeps us apart for they have yet to align. I can't blame you. I won't ever blame you. But with or without (in this case, without) your reasons, I can't blame myself any longer either. I mean, I do wake up with a wrinkled nose in the morning, biting my lip, asking "I mean if you want me to let go, then tell me why you haven't?" You haven't right? Because you're not ready to talk, soooooo that means you're still haven't let go (I'm not admitting that its anger, bitterness that you haven't let go of, or if it is anger covers up hurt, so  I mean honestly?)

So I'm gonna keep walking past. Call me back when you're ready. When youre ready  to accept my application, till you accept my offer. Till you admit that it wasn't all me. That you wanted it to. I don't mind it, you don't have to either. I'm not asking for you to love me, although there's potential, for you were amazing when we were together those few weekends within the three months when all I knew was you and no one else. 

Lyrics to You Wanted It :
Sweet and low and to the point
you always get your way
but I've long run out on any thoughts and words to fill the space
if this is suppose to be something more
then kindly explain what all the pain is for
cause you wanted it you wanted it dont lie to me
don't act like i wanted it more
you wanted it you wanted it dont hide from me
its time that we settled the score
once and for all
and i pictured myself up in your face and then i pictured myself walking away
but it never seems to go that way
thats so much easier than what i've got to say
and if this is suppose to be something more
then kindly explain what all the pain is for
cause you wanted it you wanted it you wanted it don't lie to me
don't act like i wanted it more
you wanted it you wanted it don't cry to me
its time that we settled the score (once and for)
all you wanted was to wear me out
test my strength prove my doubts
thats what the losts about
you wanted it you wanted it don't lie to to me
don't act like i wanted it more
you wanted it you wanted it don't cry to me
its sad that we settle the score (ooooo)
its sad that i evened the score once and for all
once and for all
once and for all