Dear "The Once Her to Me,"

Dear "The Once Her to Me,"

Can you have loved me a little less? I was getting too close to you. Too close for my own comfort, my own good. There's this fear that lingered onto every word I would whisper to you. This fear exceeded personification. This fear of one day loving you as much as you're still willing to love me. My past became invisible at your presence. Your hold on me felt like forever. Should I let you in as deep as you let me go into you, inbetween you? Can you get out of my head and back in my bed? Can you listen from afar and touch me upclose? I want to unravel inside you not before you. I want to tighten my grasp on your hips, not let you walk out of my door. Have your taste linger a little longer on my lips. I don't want to want more than you, but I do, because you want more than just me. Why couldn't you be satisfied with all but my mind, my pride? You were too much, and I wasn't enough. You were winning me over without a word. You were giving me something I thought I only wanted, didnt know I needed until you left. Something I didn't know I was missing until you walked in. I can't admit that I didnt care about anything but only to be the counter point to the lines you were so diligently drawing. I don't want to care what the lines on your palms mean, so instead I occupy myself by memorizing the outline of your face. We were falling naturally, but not naturally loving. We were building castles without anything under such heaven. I feared you because I feared myself. Maybe if you could have taught me. I didn't want to think of myself as just another notch on your string. You were selfish, I couldn't communicate. You wanted us to become an us, I feared of losing myself in us. I wanted to become an us in slow motion, you wanted to lose yourself in us.

When you were at my doorway, you held your heart in your hands, out to me. By then, I'd convinced myself to let go of the future you made me believe we could have. I saw the hope flush away from your face, your fragile arms dangle, as I rejected your hug. The only way I can let go, was if I made you let go of me. Be courteous to me and let me learn to live without you. When I told you that if I were you, you should let go, now I heard it...I heard your sigh, I heard the hope flush away from your face...again, your fragile arms dangle...again, as I rejected you...again. You need to let go, I let go before you even left. I know it's hard that l let go, I pushed you away and didn't leave you the chance to make it right.

Love (it wasn't...was it?),

Still the Him to You.