Tell him.

There is no proper way to start.  I do want to start though, all I want is to start... start all over again with you. I want to fall... fall in love all over again with you. This may be too much for you, and honestly... it is. I've been too much the minute you pushed me away, the minute you caught yourself falling, the minute you got scared, the minute you were clouded with fear...its okay to be scared, it means you have something to lose. But know that you didn't fall alone,  I was there every step of the way. 

It was simple, natural. I was used to a fight with Love in the past, I guess my expectations for one called it upon us. I was scared of loving you, I was scared of unraveling before you...I was frightened to lose you, so I stood still. I was falling hard, deep and quick, so I laid in your arms as the mornings lasted all afternoon, silently. I was able to just exist with you in the same space, without the pressure of words, but only all heart. 

I loved when I'd play with your baby hair, when I'd raise my arms and you'd slip up my wife-beater, when you kissed the milk off my knee as we ate Special K, when you wanted to bring me over medicine at 12 am in the morning, when I brought you every medicine I knew would soothe your sore throat, when you'd drool on my shoulder as we fell asleep on the couch, when we'd spoon, when you'd wrap your legs around mine, as you ate some of my blueberry pancakes at the green diner, when you'd place your hand on my stomach as I sighed, when I danced on your tip toes, bare foot, when  I would cook easy bake pasta, when you held my hand from the diner to your place, when you'd sing doo-wop, when you'd leave George Lopez on to woo me to sleep, when I'd put my finger in your mouth when you yawned, when I went on the path, late at night, and threw rocks at your windows like Pacey from Dawsons Creek, when I'd buy you Chips Ahoy (Chewy) cookies and leave it on your desk before you'd come in, when I'd wait for you to IM me every morning, when we'd mention  names, "Angel." 

The thing is, I never want to let go of the way I loved you. I want to stay a bit longer in your gravity. I want to be who I was when I was with you. I loved the way we'd look after each other. I loved that I'd order blueberry pancakes only because you'd hope I'd  leave some. I loved the way you loved me. 

I want you to be the him in us. I want to be kind, patient with you. I want to give you a key to my place. I want you to bring your towel over. I want you to teach me how to bowl. I want to try all the flavors of Special K with you. I want to be in your arms, even for moments in every or every other month.  I want to say "babe" again. I want to crash into you, all over again. 

I want to be more again... in slow motion. Circle Yes, No or Maybe.

I fell the minute I walked over to 8th Ave for "Hitch" and this shit hasn't gone away since.