I would have stayed...

It's fate, isn't it? Its fate's sweet revenge for the many times I persistently fought it face forward.

I would have stayed, except he wouldn't have fought for me. He pushed me away the minute he saw the fall ahead, then I tell him I'm leaving, instead of fighting, he turns away. I would have stayed. It would have been selfish of him, it would have been romantic of him, it wouldn't have been of him to do so, by its what I dreamed of, still do, for him to want me to stay, tell me.

Actually, I've been dreaming of us for three nights straight now. We're arguing, he tells me that it wouldn't have worked, that he would have ruined it. I tell him he's scared and plead for him to not push me away, it's cause he loves me. He walks away from me then comes back, sits right by me at the end of the bed. I start to cry of frustration and desperation, and the last words he whispers are, "and you're leaving me." Those words kill me even as I awake.

I can't stay though. I would have...if he wouldn't have pushed me away before, if he could have, if he could, let himself love me.